What I Hate About Being Fat--Poor Health

I went to the doctor on Monday and my blood pressure was 163/80. That's obviously too high. I had to have blood drawn, and the tourniquet really hurt. It never hurt so much before I gained weight, but I guess they really have to put the pressure on to get through the fat and reach a vein.

Other health effects, both physically and emotionally, are low self-esteem, high cholesterol, pain and fatigue.

If you had to carry around a 50-60 pound bag of wheat or lard all the time, wouldn't you get tired? Every chore is more difficult; every movement taking more energy. It affects every action, making it harder to get up and get moving and lose the weight. But with God's help, I will prevail.

Warning: Object in mirror is larger than you think!

I feel much slimmer and I know I am making progress, but then I see a mirror...what it reflects is not the way I see myself. Especially at the gym, where the mirrors take a whole wall and you can't avoid the full view. Okay, I still look fat. Just not as fat. But I will persist and I will be patient with myself.

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Slim Siblings

My siblings are all beautiful, talented, kind, fun and...slim. I love them dearly and it's fun to spend time with them. But, though I have never admitted it to them, I hate being the FAT sister. They are all busy and buzzing with activities and I am sluggish and overweight. Ugh. None of them have ever made a negative comment about my weight, or anything else to make me uncomfortable. It's just me, my own awareness, my own issues.

In this picture, I weighed 15-20 pounds less than I am now...and I bet you can still pick me out of the crowd!

What I Hate About Being Fat! #4--Weighing in!

When I weigh on a scale in public I wonder what others may be thinking. Yeah, that lady needs to get on a scale! Look at the size of her butt!

Okay, I know they are probably not thinking of me at all; it's just self-consciousness talking, but it is still uncomfortable. I weigh in on a public scale anyway, at the gym, because I don't keep a scale at home. I used to weigh at work, but the gym scale is electronic and hopefully more consistent. Balance scales are harder to get just right. The gym scale is also a tiny bit more private.

You know what I hate? When I go to the doctor's office and they tell me to weigh on the way in to the examination room. So there I am, holding my purse, coat, book or magazine, maybe a grandchild's hand, and I'm supposed to weigh? So do I set the stuff all down while the nurse waits? Or ask if I can go to an exam room first and then come back to the scale?

What I Hate About Being Fat!

Leslie says that many exercise books say we should start with feeling good about ourselves as we are. Love ourselves, then improve ourselves. For me, that breeds complacency. If I'm okay the way I am, why change?

I do love myself, that's why I am doing this. But I had to recognize the reasons I needed to do this in order to gear myself up for it. I started writing in my journal every time I noticed a reason I hate being fat. I'll start sharing them in here, one by one.

Today:

I hate being fat because I weigh more than Reg. and he can't pick me up any more! If we married today, he sure couldn't carry me across the threshold.