Have you ever met someone sick who is also overweight, and thought, "If they'd lose weight I bet they'd feel better?"
I have to admit, I have been guilty of that, back in my slim days. I have a chronic illness that started about 20 years ago. I've had it when I was slim, and I have had it through the onset of middle age spread.
Yes, I would probably feel better if I lost weight. I wish it was that easy. It's so hard to stick to goals when I am so exhausted I can barely get out of bed. It's hard to eat right when cooking takes more effort than I can consider.
I stocked up the fridge with salad stuff, vegetables, and fruits yesterday, when I somehow found the energy to go to the grocery store. Hopefully that will help. I can microwave a bowl of broccoli in five minutes, a piece of salmon in 3 minutes, and peel a cucumber or a banana with little effort. It's still easier to just grab chips, salsa, and sour cream. But I am trying!
I know people say exercise helps with depression and creating energy, but with chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia, whichever this is, (and no one really knows) it is sometimes more than I can do in a day.
I did not set out to whine, really. I think maybe this blog title should be different, because I'm not sure fitness is really a possibility for me any more. I have never been a quitter, but I have sure become a "slow-downer." If I pace myself I get very little done. If I feel good and don't pace myself I get a lot done, for a day, and then nothing for several days.
So maybe I should call it "Surviving at 50." Or Fifty and Fibro. I just don't want to give up altogether. Something is broken in me and I don't know how to fix it. All the vitamins, the sleep apnea treatment, the anti-depressant, the prayer, they help but they don't fix it.
I'm not looking for help or suggestions, I just want to whine. I am going to talk to my doctor in July about whether there are tests for other glands besides thyroid, like the adrenals etc. and see what we can learn. Like I said, I'm not a quitter. I'm just discouraged right now. Bear with me. When I come out of this blue funk I'll go for a walk. Or, more likely, even before that.
Chronic fatigue/pain is the worst...particularly when they can't figure out what's going on! (My sister-in-law, always very active, is going through it right now.) I hope you can find things that bring you comfort (and aren't food!) while this gets figured out.
ReplyDeleteI am less than a month away from turning 50! Eeeeek! And I have a seven year old daughter. Not going to be fit by then, but glad to be heading in the right drection.
Chronic stuff is just not fair :( One of my good local friends has CFS/ fibro (I'm not sure if it's both or they're questioning which it could be) and she is on the same page as you with the "Yeah, I'm sure I'd feel better if I lost weight and that's all well and good but you see there's this energy/ pain issue..."
ReplyDeleteLike I said, it's just not fair. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.