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 by Kevin Fagan, published 18 Feb. 2010

http://comics.com/drabble/

I teased Anthony today, because I posted on Facebook that I was thinking of joining TOPS again. He responded:  It helped you before! Go for it!  I asked him, "Do you think I'm fat!?" He backpedaled in a hurry, but I was just teasing. We both know I'm fat!

What I Hate About Being Fat

I went shopping today and I really had to look at the mirrors. In doing so, I came to the sad realization that my belly sticks out further than my behind, or other significant anatomical parts. I look like I am pregnant! 6 months pregnant! I hate this!

I knew I needed new clothes that fit, but two sizes up in blouses? This was not a good experience, though I did find some really cute things, spent too much money, and feel like I can go out in public again.

Note to big-bellied self: don't bother trying on straight skirts again. They are not slimming when they go in just below the belly. Something with a little more fullness would look better.

Pet peeve: plus size tops with a band at the bottom--same idea as the straight skirts. Let me put on a belt or something to emphasize what waist I do have, not highlight the fact that it sticks out by bringing the garment in right below it. And here's a great example of what not to wear! Looks even worse in silver!

Pet peeve # 2: Plus size clothes modeled on skinny people. Come on, let's see what it will look like on someone built like me!

Fat is Stored Energy

That's what I heard on an exercise video today--Fat is Stored Energy! If that's true, then why do I feel so tired when I carry it around? I feel less tired when I have burned off some of that energy in a workout!

What I Hate About Being Fat--Poor Health

I went to the doctor on Monday and my blood pressure was 163/80. That's obviously too high. I had to have blood drawn, and the tourniquet really hurt. It never hurt so much before I gained weight, but I guess they really have to put the pressure on to get through the fat and reach a vein.

Other health effects, both physically and emotionally, are low self-esteem, high cholesterol, pain and fatigue.

If you had to carry around a 50-60 pound bag of wheat or lard all the time, wouldn't you get tired? Every chore is more difficult; every movement taking more energy. It affects every action, making it harder to get up and get moving and lose the weight. But with God's help, I will prevail.

Slim Siblings

My siblings are all beautiful, talented, kind, fun and...slim. I love them dearly and it's fun to spend time with them. But, though I have never admitted it to them, I hate being the FAT sister. They are all busy and buzzing with activities and I am sluggish and overweight. Ugh. None of them have ever made a negative comment about my weight, or anything else to make me uncomfortable. It's just me, my own awareness, my own issues.

In this picture, I weighed 15-20 pounds less than I am now...and I bet you can still pick me out of the crowd!

Beginning (sort of)

I am two weeks into my mission of getting back in shape. Since I will be 50 in a little less than two years, I have adopted as my motto "Fit by 50!"

I am taking a two-part approach to this:

1) making careful food choices, balance portions and types of food.

2) exercise. My husband and I are working together to do Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds. The basic program is a 6-week program, but we are doing each week twice to make it more feasible. Her program is a low-impact aerobic program, based on simple walking movements with arm movements added, and eventually resistance exercises added as well. Leslie is upbeat and easy to follow, so we enjoy her so far.

We just finished our 2nd week, and found the two-mile Saturday workout to be quite a bit easier than we expected. Our first week, we actually walked two miles on Saturday since it was a nice day, but I think the combination of movements on the dvd was a better workout and not so tiring because of the variety.

On the other hand, you can't stop and talk to neighbors while you are in front of the TV, so it's a tradeoff.