My Weight Loss Progress

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Livng in a Day of Instant Everything

We live in a day of instant everything. Cocoa--just pop it in the microwave! Want to get somewhere? Jump in a car or a jet and off you go. No more traveling for months just to move a few hundred miles. No washing diapers and hanging them on the line to dry even in freezing weather. Drive up to the bank--or better yet, put your paycheck on direct deposit. Send a letter and it arrives by e-mail in a few seconds. Pick up the phone and hear a voice from thousands of miles away--without even a cord. Maybe there's a few seconds delay, but that's it. It's amazing.

And then there's dieting, where we have to be patient with change. And I am so impatient with the process. I have exercised for 8 1/2 weeks, and followed the TOPS menu for one week, and I want to see change right now. I don't want to look in the mirror and still be fat! I don't want to go gradually down through the sizes until I am a 12 or a 10 again. I just want to be healthy and strong today. Right now. But no, when it comes to regaining my health I still have to do it the old-fashioned way. And I know that's good; I know it helps me build healthy habits. But it is still hard to be patient with the process.

2 Pounds Down--47 to go!

Yay, my first week of the TOPS menu paid off. At least I hope that's it! I'm not below 200 lbs. Not that I should cheer about  being 197.4, but hey, it's progress.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Weights as a Metaphor

I was doing a 3 mile walk with light weights yesterday, and it got me to thinking. Carrying a little extra burden builds strength, but I have to do it right. Leslie told us to hold the weight balls as loosely as we can without dropping them. It doesn't do any good to drop the ball in the middle of a movement, but if I hold it too tightly, it creates tension and can do damage to my muscles.

The second part of the process is self-control. I must control my own movements, because if I go flailing around every which way, I can really be hurt, even though it is such a little weight. I have to monitor myself and pace myself to do it right.

Leslie always says that if it is too hard, it's okay to slow down for a little bit--just not quit. Taking it easy now and then is good,  as long as I persevere through most of it.

Isn't that just like life? In life I don't always get to control the extra burden I carry, but if I do it right it can make me strong. I shouldn't hold too tightly to my problems, because I only add tension and strain. It's okay to let go now and then and have a little fun. It's even healthy! It's okay to take a break and get distracted and even forget my problems now and then. I just can't quit dealing with them altogether or they will overwhelm me completely, but if I endure to the end I'll grow stronger little by little.

Self-control is important too, even when I am angry or devastated by my burdens. I can't control anyone else after all, but I need to monitor and temper my own movements, my own reactions to the weights put upon me. I should also pace myself. I can't expect instant healing, instant resolution to things, or to do a big project all at once. But if I pace myself, I can build my emotional, spiritual, and mental muscles as well as my physical ones.

Last but not least, in life I should have a guide, just as Leslie guides me in my exercise. For me, that guide is Jesus Christ. He counsels me to be temperate, loving, kind, steadfast, diligent, and many other character traits. He teaches me how to properly bear life's burdens, if I am willing to read His books and listen to His counsel through prophets and church leaders.

Monday, February 22, 2010

True Confessions!

I think I'm boring everyone, so time for a juicy confession!

You know that list of rules I made? I can't keep it! I lasted about a day. I still do the crossword puzzle over breakfast! I don't have enough self-discipline to do that list. Will power is nonexistent. So, what to do?

I am currently following the TOPS 28-day meal plan. I guess I need to be told what to do. So far this is working  better for me. I'm on day 5. I know it'll get boring after a while, but I figure I can do 4 weeks and then evaluate from there.

I ran out of chocolate chips about a month ago so I am not snacking on them constantly, though I do sometimes crave chocolate. And I am still walking at least a mile a day. Those little blue stickers for my calendar make a big difference to my determination.

Maybe it's just easier to follow a positive rule (eat this) than a negative one (don't do that.) Something to think about.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Time Machine

As an extension of what I wrote yesterday about the young and slim...
Exercise is the best time machine I know of.

Note the company name in the background. Fit or Die. That's so true in terms of heart trouble, cholesterol, blood pressure, diabetes, and other diseases.

I can't be fit at 25 ever again, but I can be...FIT BY FIFTY!

Comic by Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott found at Seattle Times.

Friday, February 19, 2010

As Soon As I Lose 10 Pounds


I went to the gym today for my yoga class. A lot of us are older and range from thin to somewhat overweight, but I totally relate to the mom in this comic. Who wants to be seen in gym clothes if you aren't going to look your best in them?  

Today a bunch of young women showed up, and it was nice to see some flexible, slim people too. Even if I was a little jealous.

I wanted to tell them, "Don't quit! Before you know it you will be pushing fifty and wonder why you didn't stay fit all those years." I wouldn't have listened, and I don't expect they would either.

direct mail

 by Kevin Fagan, published 18 Feb. 2010

I teased Anthony today, because I posted on Facebook that I was thinking of joining TOPS again. He responded:  It helped you before! Go for it!  I asked him, "Do you think I'm fat!?" He backpedaled in a hurry, but I was just teasing. We both know I'm fat!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Psalm 73:2

But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped. 

My feet were almost gone, almost hidden below my belly; my steps had slipped again into inactivity. I feel way better with regular exercise, even on hard days.

The Pelican

A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?

My Grandpa used to say this one. I do not know the identity of the author.  All that stuff about the size of my belly reminded me of it. I hold on my hips enough fat for a few weeks, but the body doesn't work that way. I still have to eat--I just need to stop storing up so much energy.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What I Hate About Being Fat

I went shopping today and I really had to look at the mirrors. In doing so, I came to the sad realization that my belly sticks out further than my behind, or other significant anatomical parts. I look like I am pregnant! 6 months pregnant! I hate this!

I knew I needed new clothes that fit, but two sizes up in blouses? This was not a good experience, though I did find some really cute things, spent too much money, and feel like I can go out in public again.

Note to big-bellied self: don't bother trying on straight skirts again. They are not slimming when they go in just below the belly. Something with a little more fullness would look better.

Pet peeve: plus size tops with a band at the bottom--same idea as the straight skirts. Let me put on a belt or something to emphasize what waist I do have, not highlight the fact that it sticks out by bringing the garment in right below it. And here's a great example of what not to wear! Looks even worse in silver!

Pet peeve # 2: Plus size clothes modeled on skinny people. Come on, let's see what it will look like on someone built like me!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

50! (Miles not years)

I hit 50 miles today. I guess it's time to stop counting by 10's. So I'll see you at 75.  Anthony worked out with me today, and we talked so much that the two miles went by really fast.

I am developing more agility and stamina in other areas in my life, but I wouldn't exactly say I am healthy yet. I still weigh over 200 pounds, I still collapse into a nap after a busy day, and I don't have control of my eating habits yet. I just keep plugging away at it.

One day at a time. Today, I walked 2 miles. another day.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Guess what I did today!

If you say to someone, "Guess what I did today?" do you really want them to guess?

After I did my first 3-mile walk, I went upstairs and said to my husband, "Guess what I did!" and he said "You just did 3 miles!" Takes the fun out of telling him, somehow. Like, he already knows, so it's not fun, surprising news anymore.

Anyway, guess what?  I know, you already know. I did 3 miles today! My legs were burning in the middle but it eased off and I made it through. Hurray! The middle mile was pretty intense.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

40, and Fibromyalgia Pal

I have done 40 miles! In spite of having a cold all week, I managed to put in at least one mile every weekday.

On Sunday night I met Melissa, who also has chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia. She talked about how hard it can be to exercise. You need to for the fibromyalgia, but it wears you out. I told her I do Leslie Sansone's walking program, but I only do a mile or two a day. She laughed and said she huffs and puffs going up stairs. So do I, actually, but I still do that mile or two every day. I am not ready for three miles yet!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Fat is Stored Energy

That's what I heard on an exercise video today--Fat is Stored Energy! If that's true, then why do I feel so tired when I carry it around? I feel less tired when I have burned off some of that energy in a workout!