My Weight Loss Progress

Friday, December 17, 2010

Juan Moore and the Night Owl

For as long as I can remember
I have been a "night owl."
If you're a lark, you just won't get it.
I like to stay up late at night.
Not doing anything important.
Just goofing off, doing whatever.

The day is done. I am tired. Self-discipline went down with the sun. Its not that I am doing anything important enough to stay up for.  It's just Juan Moore who causes the problem.

There's always just one more computer game, just one more Facebook check, just one more snack as I take my pills, just one more chapter of the book.
Sometimes Juan Moore is actually useful. Just one more seam to sew. Just one more bill to pay, receipt to enter, load of laundry to fold, blog to post. But usually it's just one more hour. And that turns into two. Before I know it, it is midnight or one o'clock in the morning.

Weirdly enough, I do this even when I'm exhausted. I push myself to stay up. That seems like really dumb behavior. I'm ready to fall asleep and my eyes and throat hurt, yet I still stay up.

I don't know how to break this habit, because when I do go to bed earlier, I toss and turn. But at least I'm resting, laying down listening to classical music, or a book on CD if I get desperate. 

Maybe I'm afraid I'll miss something. I always hated to go to bed before the family. I like to be in on things. My family always had something interesting going on.  Still, at this stage of life, what's to miss? My lark husband is usually in bed by 10 o'clock, and up bright and early.

What I'm really missing is morning.  One day, for no explainable reason, I woke really early and saw the sunrise and I felt really good. Most days, I am dragging myself out of bed, hitting that snooze alarm, and it takes me hours to get past sluggish state and get anything done. And then it's time to go to work and my day is used up by the time I get home.

This is a big monster for me to beat. Juan Moore is a nuisance, a time waster, a royal pain. He's a jester. Yet I keep him in my life, not knowing how to kick him out.  Even now I am thinking about Juan Moore Kakuro puzzle... 

If I exercise right now, I'll surely be awake for hours, but a puzzle just takes a little while. That's the thinking problem here. Ugh! I see it! Juan Moore, you're ugly!

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