Have you ever met someone sick who is also overweight, and thought, "If they'd lose weight I bet they'd feel better?"
I have to admit, I have been guilty of that, back in my slim days. I have a chronic illness that started about 20 years ago. I've had it when I was slim, and I have had it through the onset of middle age spread.
Yes, I would probably feel better if I lost weight. I wish it was that easy. It's so hard to stick to goals when I am so exhausted I can barely get out of bed. It's hard to eat right when cooking takes more effort than I can consider.
I stocked up the fridge with salad stuff, vegetables, and fruits yesterday, when I somehow found the energy to go to the grocery store. Hopefully that will help. I can microwave a bowl of broccoli in five minutes, a piece of salmon in 3 minutes, and peel a cucumber or a banana with little effort. It's still easier to just grab chips, salsa, and sour cream. But I am trying!
I know people say exercise helps with depression and creating energy, but with chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia, whichever this is, (and no one really knows) it is sometimes more than I can do in a day.
I did not set out to whine, really. I think maybe this blog title should be different, because I'm not sure fitness is really a possibility for me any more. I have never been a quitter, but I have sure become a "slow-downer." If I pace myself I get very little done. If I feel good and don't pace myself I get a lot done, for a day, and then nothing for several days.
So maybe I should call it "Surviving at 50." Or Fifty and Fibro. I just don't want to give up altogether. Something is broken in me and I don't know how to fix it. All the vitamins, the sleep apnea treatment, the anti-depressant, the prayer, they help but they don't fix it.
I'm not looking for help or suggestions, I just want to whine. I am going to talk to my doctor in July about whether there are tests for other glands besides thyroid, like the adrenals etc. and see what we can learn. Like I said, I'm not a quitter. I'm just discouraged right now. Bear with me. When I come out of this blue funk I'll go for a walk. Or, more likely, even before that.