It amuses me when the exercise leaders on videos say something like "See you next time." Um, no, actually, you won't. You'll go on with your life, doing whatever else you do, and I will see you next time, doing exactly the same thing you are doing this time.
"You're doing great!" and similar phrases. Really, maybe I'm sitting on the couch eating a triple scoop of ice cream and the video is just on because I'm too lazy to get up and change it to that movie I planned to watch.
"You've got this." Well, actually, I'm stretched about half as much as you are, but I'm trying.
And my favorite. "Don't worry if you fall. We'll catch you." Oh really? You're going to jump out of my DVD player and television and catch me? That's a good one. Who's "we" anyway? You're the only one I see on the screen.
My funny for today. If I could draw, and had time, I'd draw a cartoon. I found some online, but not licensed for reuse.
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