For a couple of days I've been praying about a possible action, one I am not sure we can handle physically, financially, or emotionally this summer. It's something I really want to do, and it might be a big help to someone else, but I have to count the cost. I had come close to deciding against it, but I don't want to be selfish either. I prayed for wisdom and kindness in making the decision, for some way to know the right action.
Today's huge pain flare gives me the answer. The proposed action is simply more than I can handle at this time. I need to keep taking care of myself. Hopefully in the future I will be able to serve more as I see to getting my body back to health.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh said:
My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.Tacitus, a Roman historian and writer, said:
"Candor and generosity, unless tempered by due moderation, leads to ruin."
In this case nobody is demanding anything; it is something I wanted to offer. But my life cannot implement it at this time. I must use wisdom and order. We have a verse in our church that I must keep in mind when I want to overdo life:
And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.It's a matter of focus. Whatever the prize may be personally, whatever the goal, I need to pace myself and not use more strength than I have. I believe that overdoing it, wearing myself out when we moved last year, is what led to my immune system crash and extreme fatigue that I am still experiencing in the form of virus and infections.
Even Jesus Christ took time out to rest when needed, and to allow his disciples rest, as shown in the following Bible scripture:
And he said unto [the Twelve], Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.The following quote has direct application to today's dilemma:
And they departed into a desert place by ship privately (Mark 6:31–32).
Wisdom comes through suffering.Trouble, with its memories of pain,Drips in our hearts as we try to sleep,So men against their willLearn to practice moderation.Favours come to us from gods.― Aeschylus, Agamemnon